Hard Seat, Thin Cushion Blues
I wrote this song after sitting in a marquee for several hours at a folk festival, sitting on a hard plastic seat. Like many people I had taken a thin cushion with me to make the seat a little more comfortable but it was only partially successful. As time went on I realised that the seat became more uncomfortable if I wasn't impressed by the act and when I got talking about it afterwards with some friends we came up with the realisation that "The worse the music the harder the seat". I have never heard a neo-punk melodeon banjo band and don't know if they exist. If they do please accept my apologies as this line bears no relationship to any musicians in such a band either living or dead.
You're in the folk festival Marquee
Sitting in the middle it's hard to see
Because a big man in a hat has sat in front of you
Sitting there is just no fun
As the band on stage plays on and on
You've got the hard seat thin cushion blues
You wish you could get away
But you know you have to stay
Because your favourite act is coming on soon
But you've lost your program and you don't know when
This awful tuneless band will end
You've got the hard seat thin cushion blues
The worse the music the harder the seat
You can't tap your feet when there is no beat
There's nothing to take your mind off your aching bones
Now the band is singing a dirge of a song
You think you know it but the tune's all wrong
You've got the hard seat thin cushion blues
It's like being in church on a wooden pew
Wondering what God's got in store for you
As the minister's sermon drones on and on
Suddenly it all becomes quite clear
When God whispers your penance in your ear
You've got the hard seat thin cushion blues
Back to the marquee, you're still inside
Your act has been delayed you could have cried
When you heard what they'd put on to fill the time
It was a neo-punk-melodeon banjo band
The sort of act that should be banned
When you've got the hard seat, thin cushion blues